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I took the boys to “the range” to try out some new sticks today.  I just got offspring #1 a new set of “Loco Kids” clubs.  He outgrew the ones that offspring #2 is using.  I also scored a Big Bertha 460 for only $100 at a killer of a sale.  My old driver is good, but it’s not the “new” titanium style and it’s the size of a normal 3 wood these days.  Anyway, our photographer caught us all in mid swing here.

J

I was reminded a couple of times this week that kids really are listening to what you say (when you least expect it).  Here are some examples:

1)  I was in a golf shop and wanted to hit a golf club that I had seen on TV.  So, I took it up to the guy in the store and asked if I could go hit the club in the “hoo ha” - which is clearly just slang for “the room in which I can hit golf clubs into a net.”  About 30 minutes later, offspring #2 was holding a club and I indicated that we should leave.  He said, “but I wanted to hit it in the ‘hoo ha.’”

2)  We stopped in the store the other night to get a “treat” from the little ice cream freezer.  I saw one of my favorites in there - the Nestle Toll House cookie ice cream sandwich.  I was excited to see it because they often don’t have them.  So, I grabbed it and said excitedly, “I’m getting one of these Bad Boys!”  To which offspring #2 says just as excitedly, “Ooh Dad, I want a Bad Boy!!”

You have to stop and cherish these moments before they get too old and understand what slang is.

J

I’ve had a problem with the Jeep for about a year and a half now.  I would venture to guess I’ve had this problem since I bought it 3 years ago…I just didn’t know it.

One day I went to drive it and the battery was dead.  Electrical problems are sometimes hard to figure out.  In a case of a dead battery, it’s usually the battery or the alternator - 50/50 shot, but my first guess was that the battery finally died.  I had owned it for a while and had no idea how old it was when I bought it.  So, I bought a new one.  At first everything seemed good, so I thought I had guessed correctly.

Sure enough, a little while later, I started having the same problem.  Next, I pulled the alternator.  I took it to Checkers to put it on their “machine.”  Of course, it checked out OK.  Although too coincidental, I thought maybe the “new” battery was bad as well.  I took it back to the store.  The recharged it and assured me it was fine. 

Now I’m treading in unfamiliar water.  The battery is “good” and so is the alternator.  I seem to only have the problem after the Jeep “sits” for a few days without being driven - I figure something is just shorting/draining the battery while it sits.  That would make sense because I drove it almost every day when we first bought it.  Also, the battery and the alternator checked good.  I have no idea how to diagnose the problem, so I took it to the same place I got the battery and ask if they can figure it out.  They seem competent and confident, so I left it in their hands.  They call me later in the day and explain that I need a new alternator…this one isn’t putting out enough charge.  I don’t exactly remember all the details, but it seemed fishy.  I do know that it was putting out more than 12 volts.  I asked how much it was supposed to put out.  They said they didn’t know, but it should be more and for only $360, they could help me out.

I summarily said “No thanks” and picked it up.  So, I’ve been living with this problem for a long time now.  I just had to make sure that I drove it like every other day.  If the battery was weak, I could just drive it and the alternator would charge it back up - seemingly confirming my theory that the repair shop was full of cr@p.

Fast forward to about a week ago.  My neighbor across the alley likes to work on cars.  He has a “project” El Camino that he tinkers with.  I asked him if he knew how to diagnose electrical drains.  He said that you just have to hook a multimeter between one of the posts of the battery and its cable.  The current draw (assuming you have a clock or radio with a clock) should be about .02 amps.  If it’s more, you pull fuses until you isolate the circuit.

He helped me with the process.  We hooked up the meter and sure enough, it was drawing .2 amps (enough to drain the battery after a few days).  We pulled fuse after fuse and finally the next to the last one did the trick.  As soon as we pulled it, the current dropped down to .02 amps. 

I don’t have an owner’s manual to see what is on that circuit, but after some searching online, I figured out that the dome lights, panel lights and radio are all on that circuit.  I immediately thought it might be a short on the radio wiring - it’s not the original radio.  After about 30 minutes of panel pulling, I had the radio out.  The radio seemed to have been professionally installed.  All the wiring was well wrapped and bundled.  I pulled the harness out of the radio and we shot the system with the multimeter again.  This time…no short.  I plugged the radio in again and it jumped up to .2 amps.  Something was shorting inside the radio itself. 

I found a ”newer” version of my Pioneer radio for $99.  The good news is that since it’s the same brand and close to the same model, it uses the same wiring harness.  All I had to do was plug the new radio into the harness, put the panels back on and I was done!  I checked the current and it is virtually nil.  I parked the Jeep when I got home from work Thursday afternoon.  As of Sunday afternoon, the battery was holding steady at 12.4 volts.  Case Closed!

Sorry that this is so long, but I thought you should experience at least some level of pain and appreciation for what I’ve had to go through for a long, long time. 

Lessons learned:  

1)  Auto repair shops don’t really care what you say when you take the car in…they’ll still try to bleed you for a couple hundred bucks if you give them the chance.

2)  Electrical problems are a little easier to diagnose now.

3)  I’m not crazy.

4)  Jeep ownership is not easy (this is just one of several problems I’ve fixed).

Thanks for hanging in there!  See you next time.

J

School is out, but I have a few stories to share with you.  The first - from the land of research projects.

Offspring #2 was given an assignment to do a research project on an animal.  He was allowed to choose any animal he wanted.  Some kids chose eagles, the Komodo dragon, etc.  My kid…chooses cats.  OK…you can choose whatever you want…no big deal…”cats” it is.

So, he writes this paper on cats.  My wife reads through it.  She didn’t see him do any work on this at home, so he obviously did it at school.  Curious how the process went, she asked him about it.  Here’s how the conversation went:

Wife:  ”You wrote this paper on cats.  How did you do the research?  Did you use the computer at school?  Did you go to the school library?  What did you do?  How did you find out all this about cats?”

Offspring #2:  “I just knew it.”

Wife:  “OK.  It says here that cats like to eat fish and mice.  How did you know that?”

Offspring #2:  “I saw it on Tom & Jerry.”

And you thought cartoons weren’t very educational.  I’m not sure how he cited “Tom & Jerry” in his paper.  Here’s another amazing fact from his paper:  “Cats look like dogs because they have four legs and a tail.”  Clearly, I’m getting my money’s worth from this education!  I’m not sure on the final grade.  It must have been OK.  He graduated from kindergarten.  More stories later.

 J

Wow - baseball season is over.  It’s been so long since I’ve posted anything, the “baseball begins” and “baseball ends” posts are almost back-to-back in an ironic double-header.

At the next-to-last baseball game for offspring #2, he completed an almost unassisted triple play.  He was playing short, left, centerfield/deep shortstop, mid-second base (you know…one of those positions you only see in T-Ball leagues).  Some kid hit a pop fly that ends up in his glove followed by that look on his face of “how’d I do that?”  Since it’s T-Ball/coach pitch, all the kids had taken off running as soon as the ball left the bat.  We’re all yelling “touch second base, touch second base!”  He finally complies to get the second out.  The kid that was on first base had run almost all the way to second by now.  If he had just tagged him out, it would have been the coveted unassisted triple play.  Instead, he threw the ball to first base to complete the sweep!  Cool stuff.  It was all the talk for the next few days when discussions turned to baseball.

But alas, baseball is now over.  It was a long season, but it somehow seems to have ended as soon as it started.

J

…somebody else.

Offspring #2 lost his first tooth the other night.  He was very excited to put the tooth under his pillow for a visit from the tooth fairy.  We put it in this little wooden tooth-shaped box.  It’s pretty old…my wife used it for her teeth when she used was a kid.  As such, the lid is a little loose.  To prevent tooth loss (you’ll laugh later), I put a rubber band around it to keep the lid on.

Well, the next morning, offspring #2 comes in to the bedroom to inform us that the tooth fairy didn’t leave any money.  I’m not sure who came up with the theory, but we’re all guessing that the tooth fairy couldn’t get the box open due to the rubber band.

We put it back under the pillow last night.  I sealed it with a rubber band again with much concern from offspring #2.  I assured him that the tooth fairy would be able to figure it out this time; however, when Mom took it out later to “check on it,” the rubber band had been removed.  I guess he didn’t want to take any chances.

I haven’t heard from him yet this morning, but I’m assuming that all went well.  Never mind…I had just hit the button to publish this and he came into the office to inform me that he got a dollar from the tooth fairy…along with a little note saying, “Sorry I didn’t leave your money last night.”

 J

I was reminded of the psychological scarring that can be caused by a motion sensor and a 2000 psi flow of water.  When she was little(r), offspring #3 had a near-death experience on a public toilet…see, she wiggled a little too much on an auto-flushing toilet and the ensuing fear from the jet engine blast underneath her as the toilet flushed just about killed her.

Ever since then, the toilet gets sized up when she walks in to the stall.  If it has the Terminator-style electronic eye (complete w/red flashing pulses of death), she will say “Magic Flusher,” point at it and wait until you cover it w/your hand before she will get on and take care of business.

I thought this was a thing of the past, but the other night, I took her into one of the “Family Restrooms.”  She was preparing for the job and just kind of stopped.  I said, “Come on…” and waved her over, but she just pointed at the wall and said, “Magic Flusher.” 

How long does this last?  Is this why women go to the bathroom in pairs?  So the other one can cover the Magic Flusher sensor?

J

Saturday was opening day for our baseball season.  It was  a long day of baking in the sun, but it was a good time.  Here are a few snaps to keep you busy.

J

Disclaimer:  My wife thinks I’ve blogged this issue before.  I don’t think I have, but I’m old.  She probably thinks I have because I talk about it too much.  So, if I’ve already blogged this…my apologies…one day you’ll be old too.

Based on years of clinical research (i.e. me watching people eat), I’ve determined that people fall into 1 of 2 food categories:

1)  Sectional Eaters

2)  Proportional Eaters

Allow me to explain…

Those people in Category 1 will eat their meals one dish at a time.  For example, at Thanksgiving, they will eat all the green beans, then all the mashed potatoes, then all the stuffing and then all the turkey.  Or at McDonald’s, they will eat all of their french fries and THEN eat the quarter pounder.  See how this works?  They eat their food in sections…hence why I call them “sectional eaters.”  BTW, they usually eat the “main course” last.

Those in Category 2 will take bites of food from all areas throughout the entire meal.  They usually do this in a proportional fashion so at the end of the meal, they will likely end up w/one bite of food from each area.  Then, the eater will finish the last bites from each area in an order depending on which flavor he/she wants to linger after the meal is complete.  The preferred flavor will be the last bite.

Of course the exception to Category 2 occurs when there is one dish that the eater doesn’t particularly care for.  The proportional eater may defer temporarily to sectional eating until the “bad dish” is gone and then go back to proportional eating for the rest of the meal.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am a proportional eater.  My wife is also a proportional eater.  I don’t have any stats on whether proportional or sectional eating preferences plays into the forming of relationships.  I just know we are the same.

So how about you?  Are you a sectional eater or proportional eater?  Regardless, you’ll probably never be able to watch someone eat their meal the same way again.

J

We got our first box of Girl Scout Thin Mints today!  Woo hoo!!!  One sleeve chillin’ in the freezer…the other sleeve - gone!

J